The black hole of my job

Mitch Runnels

Work

The event horizon of a black hole is the line beyond which all possible paths forward in time lead to the center of the black hole. It is the dividing line between regions of space where there are possible routes leading away from the black hole and regions of space where there are no possible routes. Once you have crossed the event horizon, it does not matter how much power you have or where you direct that power; any attempt to apply thrust in any direction will only bring you closer to the center of the singularity. From your perspective, the moment you crossed the outer edge, you would seem to be in the eye of the storm, with the center of the black hole all around you, in every direction, getting closer with your every move. The event horizon is the line past which there is no hope. The curvature of spacetime does not permit the possibility of hope beyond that line.

Strictly speaking you’d be ripped to pieces by tidal forces long before that point (the actual, official scientific term for this is ‘spaghettification’ which is hilarious), but what if you weren’t? Imagine it. As you approached, gravitational lensing would cause the thing to fill your vision, appearing much larger than it should. While you would be approaching a spherical object, it would appear to you as if you were descending into a vast, concave black bowl, with the rest of space contracting into a disc behind you, compressing into a tighter and tighter point, until all it once it went out, the last light you would ever see.

Imagine the depths of despair one might reach knowing that the underlying structure of the universe itself has disallowed your escape, that your eventual erasure from existence is just…math.

I don’t really have anything profound to say here. I just really, really hate my fucking job, and whenever I have a few days off, the night before I go back to work I always end up thinking about the event horizon.

2 thoughts on “The black hole of my job”

  1. I wonder how many people feel the event horizon effect of their job, unable to find words to describe it lest they be made an outcast for knocking work as we know it, or too afraid to fall out of sync with the rest of society and dare go there?! Good for Mitch Runnels, a Hard Crackers kinda guy who dare to go there!

  2. Hey Mitch. Sorry you hate your job. But suggest you explore other possible occupations at bls.gov, the link for “Occupational Handbook.” Endure, but grow. You are not held by mathematics or time/space configurations. You can find other employments or move or both. Also, in the meantime, I don’t know whether you have any spiritual life, but you might want to consider attending a bible-believing church. All the best, Mehta.

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